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I’ve lived in L.A. for many years. I moved here back in late 2009. I moved to Pasadena around 2018. I’m not an L.A. expert by any means. I just recently found out–by accident–I can take the backroads in Pasadena to go to Glendale and skip pretty much all the freeway traffic.
I really don’t like to venture to the westside (Santa Monica, Century City, Inglewood, et al.) unless I really have to. I’m perfectly fine in NELA (NorthEast Los Angeles comprising Highland Park, Cypress Park, Eagle Rock, and other smaller cities) and the SGV (San Gabriel Valley, comprising Pasadena, Arcadia, Altadena, West Covina, and many other smaller cities).
So, what’s my long-winded point already? I’m that L.A. Mom…but not quite.
There really is no definition of an L.A. mom. It’s a stereotype that may or may not be true. It’s something people see online, on social media, in various movies and TV shows. There is no one description of The L.A. Mom but it’s like… you know her when you see her.
She wears Lululemon yoga pants (I own a pair). She eats at sweetgreens (I recently just tried it and loved it). She has a favorite coffee shop that’s not Starbucks (I do). She drives an SUV or mini-van (I had an SUV).
She carries something designer, and it’s usually a Louis Vuitton Neverfull GM (I definitely have one of those and regret it). She stays in shape by doing Pilates (started doing it) and yoga (been a practitioner for years).
She has book clubs she goes to (just joined a couple) and sometimes meets up with friends for brunch (it’s been a while but I’ve done that). She arranges playdates based on how well she vibes with you, and not necessarily if your child will get along with hers (that’s me to a tee).
She puts her child into various activities to keep them busy (that’s me) and sometimes humblebrags about how smart and talented they are (also me). She takes her child to different places to get a bit more culture and explore life more while actively planning family vacays somewhere no one has been to (trying to do that at this very moment).
She’s a bit hipster, but never shies away from trying new things (that’s me, all right). She’s past the age of going out at night and painting the town red, but if she has a solid group of girlfriends, she wouldn’t mind a nice dinner (yep, definitely me).
I made this realization last week as I tried Pilates at home for the first time because of a rather popular Twitter thread. As I went through the comments and replies, something stuck out:
I was like, damn, that really is me.
I’m not one of those UNEEK type of people where I go out of my way to stand out. I’m quirky. I’m weird. Sometimes, I can be a bit aloof. Sometimes, I can be pretty naïve and ignorant, though I’m actively working on that.
When I go to the store, I often talk to myself as I’m trying to figure out what to purchase and if said item is something I really want or can do without. I’m not shy about my love for pop music and I have a rather unhealthy obsession with Jodeci, who are the antithesis of pop.
I recently binge-watched WandaVision and I’ll probably spend all summer catching up on all things Marvel. I watch old episodes of Maury to get some type of healthy drama in my life and spend most of my time reading or writing.
And yet…I’m that L.A. Mom.
It’s weird. I’ve been in L.A. for a good quarter of my life. I don’t follow trends (with the exception of said Twitter thread). When people were wearing trucker hats, I opted not to. When a certain Louis Vuitton bag was all the rage, I chose to get a classic style instead.
I try different foods and restaurants all the time and have a few favorite local spots that are to-die for. I even like some fancy, artisan ice cream from time to time. I have about three different boba spots I regularly go to.
I don’t get regular massages (though I should probably start) or facials (I rather not have anyone touch my face). I don’t even do group yoga classes and just pop in an old, but trusted DVD I’ve had for years! I even do Pilates at home!
I never looked at myself as being a hipster or even being cool. I know I’m definitely not cool, lmao. But I’m also very comfortable in who I am an what I’ve become. In fact, I’m probably more comfortable who I am now than I’ve ever been. And I know that makes people uncomfortable because they still want to change something about themselves.
And while I am that L.A. Mom, I don’t feel like one. Maybe it’s because I’m not trying to blend in or fit in – either you rock with me or you don’t. I don’t keep up with the Joneses (or the K family, neither), and I prefer to stay in my own lane and navigate through this thing called life.
I don’t know, you know? It’s amazing how I can check off several boxes and still not really be that L.A. Mom. I also know when people think of what an L.A. Mom is, my Black ass doesn’t come up in conversation and I’m perfectly okay with that.
I know why – that L.A. Mom is usually white. She’s usually thin. She usually has a lot of money (that’s her husband’s). She spends a lot of time on social media and always has some quirky caption under every post.
She might have several tattoos (okay, I do have those), and she might even be a fan of music festivals (I am definitely a fan). She might be passionate about social justice and an activist (I’m definitely one), but is quieter and prefers to vote with her money, than with any social media post (this is also me).
I don’t know, guys…maybe it’s time to change the definition and appearance of a L.A. Mom. Maybe she’s none of what I’ve mentioned. Maybe she’s struggling to make ends meet. Maybe she’s a heavy-set Latina. Maybe she’s a Black mom trying to figure out if she wants to do a braid-out or a twist-out before bed. Maybe she lives in the L.A. area but it’s not L.A.
Maybe she loves Starbucks and goes there as much as she can afford it. Maybe she’s a junk food junkie and has regular visits to a certain McDonald’s by her house (and hopefully they got the ice cream machine just right). Or maybe…she’s none of that, neither. Maybe, she’s a blend of the former and the latter.
And just maybe…we’re all L.A. Moms in our own way. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
